Do You Think I’m Sexy?


Do You Think I’m Sexy?

“I find the whole concept of being “sexy” embarrassing and confusing.” ~ Emma Watson

If Hollywood stars are confused and uncomfortable about what the definition of “sexy” really means, what is the average woman supposed to do?

Maybe we can all learn something from Emma Watson’s belief that “the less you reveal the more people will wonder.”  In this age of pencil thin Victoria Secret models, women are being made to feel that if you ear anything bigger than a size 0, you are not considered sexy and therefore undesirable.

What does the word “sexy” mean to you?

After having asked this question to many women, I am convinced that although every woman has their own opinion, there is still a quiet inner voice whispering what if I am not sexy enough?

Sexy can be defined by many different criteria.  Having a sense of humor and a brilliant wit is what some consider to be the winning recipe.  Others will say that being confident and powerful in the business world is a real turn on.  Yes, there are even those that admit that they do think their size “small” and triple cup size is what makes them beautiful

All this can leave your identity spiraling in a confusion of marketing media ads depicting large doe-like eyes staring at you from a hollowed face.

“Is the willowy blonde judging you as she seemingly watches you from the cover of Cosmopolitan?” you wonder as you load your groceries of mixed greens, vegetables and nuts onto the grocery counter.

Okay, now I am going to throw another ingredient into this cauldron of confusion.

What happens to your sense of “sexy” after being diagnosed with an illness?

What happens is that everything you thought you had figured out about what made you sexy up until now, vanishes in the length of time it takes for your brain to absorb the doctor’s words.

The identity you have worked so hard to create is suddenly no longer valid.

Your fit, toned body might now begin to gain weight due to the inability to exercise like you once did. Fatigue might make it impossible for you to be as active as you had once been before a life altering diagnosis.

Rest assured, you have not been doomed to a life of feeling sexless and as desirable as a used condom.

I think “sexy” is all about being confident in who you are, knowing that you are happy just the way you are. Obstacles in life can give you a deeper understanding of yourself and what it is that you want out of life

There is nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it.

This statement is free and clear of any size requirements, physical ability, hair color, or age

If we lived in a time before the advent of film, tv, newspapers and radio, we would have probably been able to feel good about ourselves just by determining if we were happy with ourself

As women age and fine lines start to appear, we are once again forced to test our beliefs in what we think makes us “sexy.”  Some might go running to the nearest botox clinic, others get out their juicer and convince themselves they love having veggie juice for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Others even  decide to proudly embrace their new lines as badges of honor.

However you choose to embrace your ageless sexy, there are no losers.

Every woman’s sense of sexy is as unique as their fingerprint

Sexy starts with being happy. Sexy thrives  by not letting anyone else tell you what you should be. Sexy never ends when you no longer feel the need to figure it out and just be it 

Cindy Lee Lothian

May 20, 2013

About Cindy Lee

I'm a writer, mother and lover of life who has learned that my twenty year dance with the disease MS, has given me Multiple Strengths. I write about love, laughter, healing and hope.
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4 Responses to Do You Think I’m Sexy?

  1. Hi Cindy,

    Thank you for this post.

    There is so much to say in reply. Here are a few of my thoughts.

    I was only thinking the other day how I used to walk, head held high, jeans a touch too long to lengthen the walk, a confident smile etc etc etc. but this had only been short lived because I am a recovering alcoholic and spent years hating myself. When I got sober in 2001, I learned how to live again, i looked younger, and my confidence gradually started to build up, hence the confident walk!! So by about 2004 I felt I was on my way to a new, confident, and yes, sexy, me. i had actually arrived, after many years of chaos, where I wanted to be – “normal”.

    Then WHAM, the diagnosis.. And a progressive one at that. Everything I thought I had become started dwindling away with every weakening of another part of my body…

    I am slowly beginning to realise that “sexy” goes much deeper than appearance, confidence, ability to walk head held high etc etc. but I am finding this realisation quite challenging and I have to be honest and say I am still grieving for and often crave my old idea of “sexy”, however shallow it now seems. It was fun and exciting. And often it is the only “sexy” that other people recognise so I am also needing to come to the realisation that what other people think doesnt matter. – but sometimes it just does…


    Christine xx.

    • Cindy Lee says:

      Hi christine! I think what it all boils down to is knowing your true “worth” goes way beyond your sexy walk! You can redefine your idea of “sexy” as you develop a deeper understanding of your “self.” You are still sexy, believe it!

  2. Jim Schmidt says:

    Re: Emma Watson’s quote ~ “…being sexy is embarrassing and confusing.” I just think – sex confuses things. …. This entire website, I think, celebrates the bond of articulate honesty and sexual intimacy. I think open, honest communication creates valuable intimacy, and elevates sexual intimacy to something far, far, more meaningful.

  3. Jim Schmidt says:

    Ha! What a coincidence. Emma Watson I just noticed she was Hermione in Harry Potter – a child actress.

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