By The Light Of The Moon, I Cried
The beauty of the moon has always called to me, it’s pure light calling me home like a beacon guiding a ship lost at sea.
It is not the mysterious man calling to me from it’s barren craters but something that has existed long before man first opened his human eyes and glimpsed their first sight of life.
Under this luminous orb on a cold October northern Canadian night, I gave birth for the third time.
It was not like my other two earthly birthings which blessed me with my sons Taylor and Jaime. This one was the birth of my soul’s purpose.
It was on this clear fall night sky while I stood on my front lawn and gazed up at the full new moon the idea of writing this blog was born. I did not have all the details figured out yet but I was alive with the possibilities of writing to help others who might be going through some of the same things I was.
Looking back now I can see that I have always been influenced by the mysterious allure of the moon.
It was on a cold New Year’s Eve in northern Canada that I had lain in bed watching the moon make it’s course across my bedroom window. I had just been driven home from the hospital by my husband and put to bed after watching my father take his last breath as I held his hand and told him I loved him. Our relationship had always been a complicated one and it was suddenly so important for me to make sure he heard me tell him I loved him no matter what.
I watched the moon that New Year’s Eve as the tears soaked my pillow and I lay in a fog of grief and codeine bliss. It had only been a few weeks earlier that I had fallen off the 18th hole at the local mini putt course and had broken my shoulder. The codeine was a blessing that evening as the light of the moon goddess washed over my grief stricken face
When MS attacked my vision causing repeated flare ups of optic neuritis, I was living in a constant sate of fear. Fear of what I would not be able to see anymore. Along with not being able to see my sons as they grew up, I could also not imagine not being able to see the beauty of a star filled sky.
After my-divorce I met my wonderful new fiancé who just happened to have had a passion for astronomy. He would spend many nights with his newborn daughter bundled in a chest carrier as he chased the night sky through his Takahashi telescope. With my now diminished vision, he wondered just how well I could see the night sky with the aid of a scope.
On a clear summer’s night we poured a glass of wine and dragged his telescope outside and I stood beside him as he adjusted the scope so I could easily see the moon. I anxiously peered into the lens not sure of just what I would be able to see. I almost cried as the full beauty of the moon appeared.
It was a year later, under this beautiful night light that I let my imagination free and I set my purpose on a new course in this what we called “life”.
MS is a mystery.
Being alive is a miracle.
Just think of what is left to be discovered.
Cindy Lee Lothian
********************************************************************************
My Still Sexy After MS blog has been nominated by MS Health line for best MS blog. I have crated this site to help everyone living with a chronic illness to come and reflect and become empowered. Plisse support my vision by clicking on the link below and vote for STill Sexy After MS. Blessings.
Cindy Lee Lothian
Still Sexy After MS 