What I Wish I Knew Than!
It’s my party and I will dance if I want to!
Yesterday, I celebrated my birthday and I used the day to reflect on my life, I realized that this was not a celebration of the day I was born, but rather a celebration of the twenty year milestone of living with the “condition” called MS.
I use the word condition because the “d” word disease puts you in a constant state of negativity right out of the gate. The moment you leave the doctor’s office after receiving this label you are already starting the fight with a defeated mindset.
When I look back on my twenty eight year old self and the fear that this diagnosis brought with it, I find myself wishing I could give myself a hug and reassurance that no path is set in stone. We all know that they call Multiple Sclerosis the snowflake disease and aptly so. The rate of onset and severity can can be so different in each individual. With this said, I am a firm believer that alleviating all stress in your life wherever possible, maintaining a healthy positive attitude can all play a role in possibly lessening the chances of your body being under attack.
I can hear some of you screaming at the computer monitor now while reading this, pulling out your hair in exasperation of one more person making it all sound so easy.
No, it is not easy. Each day I am thankful for another day of living my life the best way I can. I can hardly remember what my life was like before it became intertwined with the MS condition known as the scary monster. What would it have been like without the constant worry of not being able to do the simple things in life anymore in the mere blink of an eye? I will never know and perhaps do not even care because without the path I have walked on for the past twenty years, I would not have become the woman I am today.
Cliché as this might sound, there is nothing like a reminder of our own frailty and mortality to really make you sit up and take note of what is really important in your life.
So as my birthday has come and gone, I have taken my younger self by the hand.
Cindy Lee Lothian
May 20, 2014
Still Sexy After MS 
I accidently came across this site yesterday and reading some of your posts brought a tear to my eye! I was diagnosed in 1994 at the age of 25 and have felt like a survivor and always try to look on the positive side of everything,wish I had come across this site before it would have made me feel so much better! At the time of diagnosis I contemplated suicide and felt at war with myself but went on to have one child who is now 18 and got married later in life and do feel that I am doing everything to not let this condition get the better of me! I am 46 now and still battling on, working 29 hrs a week at a really good job where if I ever need anything or any time off there is never a problem. Thank you for your site I feel even better about myself now.
Hi Belinda, I am so happy to hear that you are thriving and have managed to see the good that is still all around you. I started this site because like you, when I was first diagnosed I had no where to turn. It was before the internet rage and I felt isolated and scared. I am happy to be able to reach out to others who are going through these same emotions and to let them know that they are not alone in how they are feeling and that they will make it through the rough times. I am curious as to how you found my site as I noted that you commented that you found it accidentally?
I am glad to have crossed paths and my warmest wishes.
cindy