When Words Are Arrows
It is not easy living with an illness that tries to chip away at your self esteem every hour of every day. It can be a challenge to try to stay positive and to remain confident in who you are and to love yourself wholly.
Having your loved ones for support and reassurance when you are feeling doubtful or slightly insecure is a great comfort and a strong foundation from which you feel safe.
But what about when someone you thought loved and understood you, says something that is insensitive and leaves you temporarily blindsided?
Of course, this can hurt when caustic remarks are made by strangers but when they come from your loved one, it can cut deep.
If that person truly loves you and was sorry for what they said, then you might forgive and move on for no one is perfect. If the comments are a steady stream of negative criticisms which attack your self worth, then it is time to really examine why you are allowing that person into your life.
You have the choice of who you want to have in your life and by surrounding yourself with people who build you up and inspire you to be the best you can be, will help you to stay strong.
Sadly too many of us stay in caustic relationships whether they be marriages, siblings or friendships that no longer serve us in a positive way.
A divorce that comes shortly after a diagnosis of MS can leave you spiraling in insecurities and self doubt. You might be left wonder “what is wrong with me?” The answer is nothing is wrong with you! The first step to rebuilding your life is to accept that you are worthy of having someone in your life that loves you completely. Sometimes when relationships end it leaves the door open for someone wonderful to enter.
If someone says something that you think is hurtful, express how you feel about what they said and ask them why they said it.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful living in a time of chivalry where knights served to protect the honor and safety of those in need? Or is a society filled with decency and compassion all just a fantasy?
Living with a chronic illness can be tough enough without having shots fired at you from what you thought was your safe haven.
After all, shouldn’t the ones that love you take the arrow for you rather than be the one shooting it?
cindy Lee Lothian
August 1, 2013
After thought! Before posting this, I just went outside to drag out the heavy garbage can to the road. A man walking by stopped to ask if I needed help. Chivalry does still exist!!!!
Still Sexy After MS 
Enjoyed your story very much Cindy.
I needed to read something like this today. Your words came at the perfect time. Thank you!
If someone left you, because of an MS diagnosis, then I feel badly for the type of person they’ve become in life. My daughter was engaged to be married, when an MS diagnosis came in for her fiancé. They hadn’t been together years, but less than a year. My daughter didn’t leave him, however sped up the wedding day to alleviate his anxieties and to show her steadfast love. I am proud of the way I raised my daughter and I am glad she held onto the values I taught her. We are here on this earth for a short time. We are her for one reason and that is to love one another and to give each other a shoulder to lean on. God is testing us. Whether it be personally or through a loved one. You are strong and you are special. I am speaking from experience myself. No, I do not have MS. But, at the age of 38. I fell out of an elevator and have been handicapped and in horrific pain, since. My husband left me, when I was hurt, in a wheelchair. They are not worth a thought to us now. Each and every trial and tribulation, weathered in the right spirit, can only make you stronger and more nobler than before. God Bless you for posting to help others, though you are in your own pain. God Bless you every day. I will pray for you every morning, when I pray for my new Son-in-Law and say my daily morning prayers. Stay strong. Keep company with those who deserve your company. Forget those who walk away. They are not worth your energy, which is best spent on remaining as positive and loving as you can. ❤