You Are calling! Are You Listening?
“”Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, ‘This is the real me,’ and when you have found that attitude, follow it.”
With the morning comes a stiff neck, two skinned knees and a skinned elbow.
Why do I wake with whiplash?
These are all the battle scars from my nocturnal wanderings which included a not to graceful fall from a missed last step on my darkened staircase.
I am always shocked at how my brain is slow to react in a crisis. Instead of it sending out the normal signals of “put your arms out stupid, you are falling” instead it seems to go into a shut down mode. Leaving my poor body to it’s own defenseless flailings. Where and how badly it ends is anyone’s guess.
As I lay in bed with the sun streaming in the window warming my face with the first kiss of summer, I wonder.
What is it that makes me feel like I can keep going on when life seems to put so many roadblocks in my path for me to stumble upon?
I know there is an inner voice that urges me on to keep moving forward with the certainty that “I can do this.” That there is nothing I will not be able to overcome.
It is my oldest son’s birthday today and I smile at this as I hear my youngest son in the shower getting ready for school.
My body is sore, my perseverance tested by my nightly adventures, but the sun this morning fills me with it’s warmth and promise.
I do not know what challenges will await me tomorrow. What I do know is this.
Today I am going to call my son on his birthday and tell him how much I love him and how proud of him I am.
I will send my youngest son to school with a wish for a great day.
I will write.
I will breathe in life. I will soak in the sun’s rays letting it’s warmth seep in my skin.
I do not expect to unlock the mysteries of where my inner strength comes from, but I will nourish it and flame it’s fire.
You too have your inner voice cheering you on.
You just have to know how to listen.
Cindy Lee Lothian
April 17, 2013
Still Sexy After MS 
Another gem of a post Cindy, its like a breath of fresh air for me. I was smiling all the way through apart from you stumblig on a dark stair of course. Although what I can relate to there is how the brain seems to say “Ive forotten what Im supposed to do!” , by which time its too late!
I think for me, the two sided coin of stubbornness/determination comes into play. Your post came on just the right day for me because I got out of bed this mornig determined to make lentil and veg soup in my slow cooker (crockpot). And I have done it and am now enjoying the gorgeous smell of the cooking process going on without me! I find it very difficult to chop and cook these days. But when I succeed there is no other feeling quite like it and even more wonderful is to eat something I know I have cooked myself.
But then I decided to fold some freshly washed and dried towels. I always used to love towels folded neatly, corner to cornerr, it was one of my “things”. Well I did that too, and it took me a long time! I spread them out on a table and did it methodically and now they look so good all piled neatly! Then I decided to clean all the kitchen counter tops – I was on a roll saying to myself but out loud, “youre not going to beat me you so and so!!”
But now Im exhausted and I think I have done too much. But its okay; Im not going to berate myself; its my enthusiasm that keeps me going 🙂 and I will have a quiet day tomorow. I wont need to cook; I have enough soup for days! 🙂
Thanks so much for your comments! I am so happy you were able to succeed in your goals you had set for yourself! Setting goals and staying positive are the best medicine !
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