MS, LOVE & SEX?

When my husband spoke the words I don’t love you anymore, I felt like I was traveling at warp speed on the SS. Enterprise with Captain Kirk at the helm. Traveling to places no man had gone before.

I found myself crying in the darkened room of my son’s bedroom taking stock. I had MS and was legally blind. I could not drive anymore and the person I had relied on the most had just closed the door on our fourteen year marriage. I had two sons to take care of and God was I tired.

That was then and this is now. I can tell you I did travel to dark unknown places living independently for the first time in my life. I felt free to be who and what I wanted to be. No one to feel I needed to impress or to accommodate. I was suddenly lifted of the burden of always feeling I was not good enough.

As you know,MS can be a harsh test for even the most solid and loving relationships. I often hear from many readers that they are blessed with a loving and understanding partner who is always there for support or just a well needed hug. On the flip side of course, like me, there are many suffering with MS whose relationships could not withstand the pressure cooker that living with MS can become.

“I believe you”.

“I care about you”.

“how can I help”?

Are thse the things you are hearing in your relationship?

I encourage you to examine your relationship right now. Is it supportive and nurturing or do you feel like it is suffocating you, leaving you feeling pressure and guilt for not being what you think you need to be? Only you know what your needs are when it comes to sharing your life with your partner and you deserve to be happy and loved. Do not let MS make you feel like you have to settle for a relationship that does not fill your life with meaning.

Sexual intimacy can often become a problem when living with MS and can certainly vary depending on your condition. Some people tell me that that is the last thing they are concerned about and others still want that intimate connection with their spouse. Sex of course doesnot have to involve intercourse, making each other feel pleasure comes in all forms. Be open about what each of your needs are and try to listen without judgment.

If you are currently where I was flying shotgun through the unknown on the S.S. Enterprise stay calm. You are merely an explorer about to discover new areas of yourself that you never even knew existed.

Enjoy the journey for with every change there are new possibilities.

Cindy Lee Lothian

April 21, 2014